Change and sadness

I am sitting here at my desk trying to write an email to the mother of our au pair letting her know how amazing and wonderful her daughter is and how much we are going to miss her. It’s not easy.

Yolandi has been with us for two years and tomorrow night she flies home to South Africa. I will miss her so much I can’t bear it. Lulu has never known a day with her. It will be so weird.  A new girl arrived on Thursday. She is young and home sick. Yolandi has been a do-er. So far Mizlee has been a sitter and watcher. Oh, and a texter. Every few minutes. To her mom, her boyfriend, other au pairs she met in orientation. I am hoping this will change once Yolandi has gone, and it will be up to her to run things. She seems like such a teenager compared to the confident, independent woman who is leaving us.  It’s unfair to the new girl to compare her, but I am doing it anyway.  It’s clear to me that some girls see the au pair program as a fun way to travel and play with cute kids. Yo looked at it as what it really is... a job – and a hard one at that. She made our lives easier and more interesting. She was my wife and now I feel like I have lost that and quite possibly gained another child.

 We’ll see.  I’m trying to be fair, but we are all having trouble separating.