*sigh*

I just received an alumni email from my college and clicked through to a virtual tour. I think I regret it as I was time-machined back to 1990. I’m late for Freshman Seminar because I ran into John Kelly, the senior I had a crush on for pretty much the entire year. The man who kissed me once at a party and regretted it as I pursued a relationship with him and became that girl in Say Anything who wrote 357 songs that were all about Joe.  Because he is kind, and patient, and intends to kiss me again when he feels like it and when we have had enough to drink that he can use it as an excuse, he talks to me. I am wearing black leggings that end with WigWam socks stuffed into duck boots. It’s early November and too cold for me to just be wearing the itchy, oversized Guatemalan sweater with the twigs sticking out of it that carried me through most of September and October.  My head is tilted. My mouth is smiling. My books are held tightly to my chest. We agree that maybe we might meet for lunch at the Union, that is…if we see each other, if he can make it, but I know he won’t show and that I will wait hopefully anyway.  This will continue until we near the end of the year and I fall in love with someone else. He never notices.